.

It is 5:45 a.m. and I am still awake. I just finished re-reading Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya sisterhood and it made me a little sad. Now I can't sleep because of all the thinking. Whoever intvented thinking should be arrested. And I would not defend him/her. It should...

I was at the Barnes and Nobles yesterday, looking for legal reference guides (yeah, right) when suddenly I bumped into two of the cutest men I've seen in quite a while. I mean, other than the guy I live with, that is. See, Baltimore is not a particularly attractive...

You four readers out there, you are geniuses (genii?) right? Well, I have an issue. My resume sucks. Will one of you kind people please e-mail me and tell me you wouldn't mind reading it? Here is the catch. . . I might cry if you post about my idiocy on your blog....

It took me 10 minutes to book my flight to london, and then 15 hours to choose hotels in london and then I was thinking hey, let's go to Rome, then Florence, then Paris. But see, you can't easily get from Florence to Paris and you have to go back to Rome to fly to...

Just as I was bragging about my murderer of pregnant wife reversal, along comes Andrea Yates and her show-offy lawyers. No, but seriously, I think its great. First, it will maybe give the state a chance to think about where Andrea really belongs (in a psychiatric...

I am a big loser. I do nothing. Literally nothing. Okay, here is what I do: wake up around 9:30 or 10 or 10:30 or 11. Drink coffee. Watch food t.v. network and think about eating something. Go to the bathroom. Drink more coffee. Read blogs, think about writing...

My resume is boring. I mean, I do cool stuff, you know, but it doesn't come through in my resume. Here is a line, get ready to have your socks blown off "Criminal defense trial attorney representing clients in local, state, and federal courts on all classes of...

I have two dogs. One of them is part coon hound, part german shephard and part beagle. His name is Mocha Java. Java is a good dog, he's looks like a tired old man and moves pretty slow. He gets to wear the "collar of honor" a/k/a "the shocking collar of death"...

In my former life, the one where I had a job and a purpose in life, I was a lawyer. A trial lawyer primarily, but to earn some extra cash I would also write appeals; you know, those things called "briefs" that all the nerdy lawyer types really get into. In the last...

See, the point of the last post was that he was saying no, you aren't fat, but thought it would be funny to say yes because he knows I am sensitive about my weight right now and not that the answer was actually yes, you are fat because if that was the honest answer,...

My husband is an aspiring stand up comedian. What this means is that he writes stuff down and then when I'm drunk he has me read it because when I'm drunk I think everything is funny. However, my husband the comedian cannot stand being teased. I mean absolutely cannot...

I am now going to bitch and moan about something all women bitch and moan about at some point in their lives - I am fat. I mean it. I am not even lying. I'm not saying I'm 5'7" and weight 125 pounds and god, I feel like a whale. I mean this person who writes to you...