There are several blogs I read every day. It’s funny, considering I didn’t even know what a blog was until very recently. They offer interesting perspective on the world we live in, and life in general. At first, I thought these things were just online journals that people kept like they would a diary. I did’t think that there were awards or famous bloggers or anything like that. I just thought hey, look, no bad handwriting! So I started a blog. But I didn’t know it was called a blog. I thought it, well, I already told you what I thought.

There are frequently discussions about whether the people who write certain blogs are real, or if their stories are ficitional. I’ll be the first to say I don’t care. I think that the blogs I read are highly entertaining and they have become a part of my daily routine. I mean, really, do you read a blog for educational purposes? I do have to admit, however, that there have been occasions where I’ve stolen a line or two from a blog and used it to enchant strangers at cocktail parties. Maybe at some time I will direct you to those lines and give credit where credit is due. But I have a point to this post and it’s coming up in the next paragraph, so stay with me.

So, here is my point. My point is that I don’t even like to write in this blog because I am confused. I have a hard time figuring out if I should engage in more self-disclosure, or if I should make stuff up that sounds interesting and post it. I don’t have a job to write about anymore, and I’m having a hard time posting about my studying in a way that doesn’t make me freak out. Wait, let me try, okay, ready? Nah, forget it.

So, I think its great how some of the bloggers don’t have any worries about exposing themselves, what they’ve done and how they feel about it. In fact, they get publicity by doing just that. And then they win awards and become famous bloggers and everyone wants to be their bloggie friend. But then isn’t life like that movie with Jim Carrey in it where he really lives in a t.v. show? Do you have to try extra hard to make your life interesting or amusing? And not only that, but why are blogs so popular? Why do we care so much about what others are doing? Do we need so much escapism in our lives that we turn to read about the truly mundane goings on elsewhere? As an outsider to this new medium, I see communities forming and certain bloggers have bloggie friends that they write with and I wonder, have they ever met each other? If they came face to face, would they have to put on their blogger persona?

For me, the blogging universe is just another way to feel inferior. And to end up in front of a house subcommittee on doing something very bad because everyone knows everything you do, if you tell them. But that’s another story for another day. Apparently, there are people who get thousands of readers each day. I am very thankful for my four and when I began writing in this forum (as opposed to livejournal, which I still have too) I never thought of trackbacks or hits or comments. The only people who read my livejournal were my brother (who would comment ‘ewwww’ every time I remarked that I was not pregnant again) and my sister-in-law, who would try to encourage me every time I wanted to quit my job. Now there are site meters and people tracking how others get to their site. And the writing is clearly meant for a readership, not for personal consumption. I know I am jealous, to some degree. Who wouldn’t be? I mean, I’m less jealous of famous bloggers than of Julia Roberts, but that’s because I’ve managed to keep some perspective, you know?

Now, my dear four readers, none of this is meant as a critisicim. (did I spell that right?) I just have a lot of free time on my hands and so I have resorted to thinking about things. Thinking about blogging is not very taxing, so I decided to start with that.