So I’m reading all these other blogs, and if I knew how to link to them I would, but anyway, they are really funny. They have funny clients and funny things happen to them in court and their clients say funny things. Like http://blondejustice.blogspot.com (hey! I linked!!) She has the funny bannana client and the other funny clients. My clients are anti-funny. They are so not funny, its funny. Here, here’s what happened today and tell me if there is anything funny about this in a really funny way and not in a funny sad sort of way:

I go to court this morning for a guy who has to respond to a plea offer: take the deal or go to trial. I am under the assumption that another attorney in our office went to talk to the client at the jail. Why do I assume this? Well, because he told me he would. Anyway. . . . So, I go to court and I go in back to ask the guy what he and M (that’s what I’ll call the other attorney) decided to do. He looks at me and says what the fuck you talking about? Ain’t nobody came to see me. So then I go out to call my office to say, WHAT THE FUCK???? And his family, the client’s family, follows me out. I was attacked by them: you took our money and you want him to cop out, you ain’t doing nothing for him, screaming, crying, screaming, crying, swearing. HOLY SHIT! So I call the office and M comes strolling in 20 minutes later and gets the guy to take a plea. I don’t know what magic words he said, but that’s what happened. Okay, so anyway, tell me if its funny.

Oh wait, one funny thing happened today. I’m in court for a sentencing in another courtroom after that very unfunny episode I just discussed. The client, J, plead guilty to giving a 15 year old boy a blowjob. A bj that the kid wanted, there is no doubt about that. During the sentencing the judge is giving out an order of protection for the kid she ‘pleasured’ and he says: “I’m now handing you an order of protection for the victim in this case. That’s “victim” in quotes”. I thought that was funny. Get it, like how is he a victim when he got a blowjob and he was 15 and he clearly liked it and wanted it? Get it. That’s funny, right?

Reason 1 why I like my job: I get to say blowjob in a professional capacity.