I’m not a public defender. I’m a private lawyer that accepts appointments through the Criminal Justice Act panel in Maryland. I don’t do any state court assigned work, the pay is crap and the cases are usually terrible. The cases aren’t great in Federal Court, but few cases in the federal criminal system ever really are. In fact, I started comparing federal criminal practice to hospice, where we just administer palliative end of life care. A good friend who is an assistant public defender in New York responded that it makes each person we can cure that much more rewarding. I agree. The work is hard. The stakes are high. And sometimes the best you can do is hold someone’s hand and help them understand where they are and maybe get them out sooner than they would otherwise. I’m not gonna stamp my feet and say we win in Federal Court because, while it’s true that we do, and we can. We frequently don’t. It doesn’t mean we aren’t ready to rumble. We just know that sometimes rumbling isn’t best for our client.
My practice also consists heavily of immigration work. I’ve said this before, but there is a huge disconnect between immigration, where you are heavily limited in what you can do for your client, and criminal, where really, the sky (and the ethics rules only) are the limit. I love them both, but truly prefer the single minded and client-centric nature of the criminal work. But there is a great need for someone who can do both. So I do.
Scott Greenfield wrote a post the other day entitled “Great in Theory“. I’m the person who called him on that case. The case wasn’t mine, but I wanted to help a friend. I was desperate to find a way that real justice would prevail. Or, to put it in a way that Jeff Gamso would appreciate, so that injustice would be averted. Scott did, indeed, throw cold water on my theory with a simple two or three line email. I passed the word along but it didn’t diminish my friend’s vim and vigor for the fight. And fight she did. She lost and injustice ruled the day once again. When she was done she sent me the newspaper clipping which I then passed along to Scott. I spoke to her on the phone for hours, consoling her really. It’s what we do for each other. Because even though the best criminal lawyers I know are the ballsiest bunch of men and women on earth, we still need to be told that we did what we could, that our fight wasn’t for naught. Except. When it is. Which is quite often. And the words then, when you believe your client is innocent, ring hollow. But talk we did. Until she ran her bath and settled in and got up to fight another day.
Last week I went to go see a mother about representing her son. I quoted a fee that was reasonable. I drove to her house which is an hour away. She had no furniture. She has small children. She could not afford me and I am not expensive (not yet, anyway). I did the math in my head on how much it would cost me to represent her son, who is incarcerated over three hours from where I practice. She talked to me about the public defender. How they didn’t care. How she went to the wrong courtroom and before she got to the right one her baby had had a bench trial and been convicted of a crime that carried a maximum penalty of 20 years in prison. Which he got. But 8 of those 20 were suspended. This mother is not older than me. She had her baby boy young. She did what she could. And now she can’t help him. My mother’s heart broke for her. My mother’s heart reminded me I had to pay for daycare and that tooth that Yonas knocked loose. My lawyer’s head remembered the rent for the office. This woman, with no couch, this kid, who needed me most, wouldn’t get me. Injustice would prevail, once again.
I talked to Mark Bennett today. We discussed feral cats, blogs, and cry baby lawyers. I came back to blogging thinking that we were all in this together. I thought I would write and people would say hey, yeah, we are fighting the same machine. We are on the same side. I didn’t expect the asides and the jockeying for position or people telling me that I was being disrespected by other bloggers. First, I don’t care. I’m pretty comfortable in my own skin. Second, I don’t think it’s true. I have been doing this long enough to have earned a fair measure of respect from people. And, I find the back-biting to be odd and immature. Furthermore, it brings me back to the original theory behind this post, and this blog in general these days:
Aren’t there clients in prison? Aren’t there people being stripped from their families? Have you ever been to prison and seen little boys, sons, cry when visiting hour is up? Have you sat across from a mother dressed in prison garb who hasn’t seen her children since they were teeny babies? There is injustice everywhere. This battle started long before any of us got here and each last one of us is nothing but a foot soldier in it. We are as ready for the fight as we are to soothe a weary brow when the battle is done. I am thankful to be able to be a part of a profession where we can do so much good if we allow ourselves, where we can lend a hand not just to our clients, to their families – but also to each other.
Great blog today!! It's so absolutely true!! I love doing family law where I see the results and I feel great when I see a family reunited or such. But I've also seen the bad and no matter what I'm going to continue fighting hard for my clients and being proud of my profession!! Again, great blog!!
I'm late to read your post, but it is my favorite of the era. This is why I connect with other attorneys on twitter and through blogs–to honor the shared burden that is ours to bear. And, this is also why I can't tolerate much media–it steals my time and energy that I could be using making a difference. You have helped give me strength and pride today. Thank you.
This post contains, for me, part of the explanation for why I think some of our net-friends are wrong to have bailed on Twitter.
However small the connection, however tenuous, however superficial, even, it's helpful to have the contact with one another, to be reminded that we are not alone.
When I go for MCLE seminars, part of it is for the training. Part of it is for some camaraderie, however temporary it may be.
It is good to connect with and talk to others who have the same struggles, the same fight, the same commitment.
Thanks for this post. Thanks for being out there.
This is a good read.
It's interesting as a non-CDL to read and follow criminal defense folks (on Twitter and elsewhere). It's grounding and a good reminder that I could be dealing with a lot crazier (and heavier) stuff in my day to day professional life.
On the other hand, the CDLs seem to have this strange dynamic among yourselves. CDLs seem to be the ones constantly harping about other bloggers and marketing practices, (boycotting Twitter) etc. I'm not sure what to make of it – just an observation.
Talk is cheap. If you felt so strongly about that one woman, why didn't you just take the case on? Don't you lawyers have a pro bono obligation that this could have fulfilled?
And passion alone — "oh, the injustice!" — doesn't make you into a good CDL. In fact, the simplistic and black-and-white way you seem to address these things makes me think the contrary.
You write about the "best criminal defense lawyers," then seem to associate yourself with that group. Would you really consider yourself to fit within elite group?
Finally, you talk a little too much about feeling comfortable within your skin for me to quite believe it.
Perhaps less talk, more action? And I'm not talking about pleading some people out in federal court and then complaining about unfair that all is.
Thanks, I enjoyed the post. I tried to say this recently, but I'm not sure how well I got my point across: I've learned a lot from CDLs, yourself included, about how to advocate and support clients that are typically automatically assumed to be the "bad guys."
Non-CDLs can learn a lot about practice, advocacy, passion and compassion from CDLs. Keep it up.
I'm glad others have enjoyed this post. Thinking I may have been unfair to you with my earlier comment, I read through this blog to get a better sense of you. I've decided that if anything I've been charitable.
I have always found CDLs pretty self-important but this entry, dripping with self-satisfaction, has to take the cake. Other than working as a junior associate and now solo practitioner, all for very brief periods, what have you actually accomplished that would put you into this elite group of CDLs you seem to consider yourself a member of? Writing a blog in which you bemoan the injustice of it all because a woman needs to go with a public defender because she can't hire you doesn't count. Pleading a court-appointed client out in federal court doesn't count.
Repeatedly referring to yourself as a ballsy, kickass lawyer on this blog doesn't make you one. The best CDLs, as we all know, are the ones who don't crow.
I'm also guessing you consider yourself quite the writer: "We are as ready for the fight as we are to soothe a weary brow when the battle is done." Are you kidding me? Were you laughing when you wrote this?
Johnny P. tell me who you are and I'll provide you with my resume. I'm comfortable enough in my own skin to not care what you think about me or what I've done. I know it. It's clear your issue is with CDL's in general. I don't claim to be in the elite, but every now and then I get to stand near someone who is.
And it's clear you don't get it. EVERY SINGLE THING WE DO COUNTS. Whether it's pleading out a court appointed federal case (you mock indigent defense work? that's nice) or trying a murder 1. All of it counts.
I agree that no one should judge a lawyer by their blog. As Mr. Greenfield says, on the internet, no one knows you are a dog. Right, Johnny P?
Johnny P., what's the point of your comment? Clearly you're not here to add anything to the discussion, so which axe would you like to grind?
"Pleading someone in federal court doesn't count." Really? Are you trolling or just ignorant of what a CDL's job entails? When you show up in federal court you're usually dealing with professionals. At least more professional than local cops who charge paraphernalia for Visine. Securing favorable plea deals is a huge part of the job, especially for people who are, and I'll quote an investigator I knew, "looking up the ass of a dead dog."
Mirriam, I enjoyed the post. I have one small quibble; I hope you're standing up for your PD friends. We actually do care quite a bit, otherwise we'd have taken better paying jobs and bought vehicles that have paint on them.
Smart post…..great blog…..
very useful post….I like it very much….. I enjoyed the post….What a great thinking …….great ,….
Thanks for this interesting post….
Some of my best friends are PD's. The point of the post wasn't that justice wouldn't be served because the woman's son had to use a PD, but that was her impression. Probably based on her experience with what happened. It is, seriously, the best job on earth if you can get it.