Well, it’s good we’ve finally acknowledged that we are 100,000% unable to think for ourselves Clearly, our reading comprehension is so staggeringly poor that when the surgeon general puts on our cigarettes “You will Die if you smoke this” we dismiss it as mere hyperbole so now, just for those of us who can’t read at a second grade level, they are going to put pictures right on the front of the pack for you. Aren’t you glad our government is looking out for us like this? Because you know, we are fucking morons. And now, the fine folks of San Fransisco have determined that they are going to take on childhood obesity by banning toys inside happy meals. This is, in fact, a great plan. Brilliant. Why didn’t we think of this before? Four-year-old’s will be less likely to drive themselves to McDonald’s, park in the parking lot, walk across said parking lot, go to the counter, place the order, get out her money, pay the worker, get her change, get her food and then go fill up her soda, put her ketchup in the container, sit down at a damned table and eat her chicken nuggets if they can’t do so while playing with their brand new, shiny My Little Pony.
“The supervisor who initiated it, he couldn’t even get is own daughter to eat right.That’s what started it, When he looked in her toybox and saw Happy Meal toys,” said San Francisco resident Allen Jones. Sigh. Mr. Jones. So your schmuck of a supervisor couldn’t get his kid to eat right and that meant he had to ruin it for others who might go to McD’s as a treat every few months? Really? Is this okay with you? In a perfect world – no, in a world not filled with god damned dumbasses, the supervisors inability to parent wouldn’t mean that everyone else has to suffer. But we don’t live in that world, now do we?
I am of the firm belief that the people who are in favor of the San Fransisco ordinance are the same people who are in favor of anti-bullying legislation who are the same people who are in favor of the twinkie tax who are the same people – well, you get my point. These are the same people who should not be allowed to have children since they are incompetent, but unfortunately, they are not impotent. Hey, supervisor, your four-year-old cannot get to the McDonald’s without you. She can’t. She might cry for it. She might really, really want it. But you don’t have to take her whiny ass there.
Look. I take my kids there. We eat at chik-fil-a. We eat pizza and hot dogs and crap. We eat at home. My kids cry for french fries. There is crack in them, we know that to be true. But there is this word we use. I know it’s rare these days, but you should try it out. It’s not horribly long or complicated. Here, try it.
No.
Do it again.
No.
Come on. You can. I swear you can. Tongue near your teeth for the ‘nnnn sound’ then round your lips ‘ooooo’. You can say it in a calm voice. You can say it while crying yourself as you drive by the ‘french fry store’ as my boys call it. I am not going to tell you it’s easy. It’s not. I have twin boys that are three. There are times I feel like giving in to their every last desire in order to get some peace and quiet. But then I remember my ‘no douche bag‘ rule and carry on. Your kids will live. You will live. You don’t have to let the government do your work for you and you really don’t want them to because the time will come when they will make a law that you don’t like and well, then it will be too fucking bad.
Happy Meals usually have sufficient calories for an adult, so (when I'm considering my daily intake) I usually order them. And the toys rock … glad I don't live in California.
LOVE THIS. I always eat the happy meals because the adult meals are just a 1 way ticket to a heart attack. But seriously people can make their own choices. And if they need government regulation to tell them that McDonald's is unhealthy, that is the *least* of their problems.
Wait. So he couldn't get his kid to eat the happy meal? What's the logic? Without the distraction of the toys, the kids will finally be able to eat their happy meals? I had assumed the reason for banning the toys was to discourage kids from wanting happy meals in the first place. You're telling me it's to get them to *eat* their happy meals?
Unfortunately, the evidence demonstrates that there are, indeed, legions of "fucking morons" who smoke, eat, drink, and drug themselves and members of their families into death and disease. While that is a sufficient reason for government to try to curb this self-destructive behavior, we all wind up paying for it in higher insurance premiums (life, health, and auto) and taxes (to support hospitals and public health programs). Worst of all, these morons support, indeed encourage, the same unhealthy behavior by their children.
This is entirely why I believe everyone should be made sterile until they prove themselves (Parental BattleDome seems fitting). I mean shit, if we're already banning normal actions, I think it's only a hop, skip and a jump before mandatory parenting tests come into vogue.
I am so remaining kid-free. Though I will intentionally order Happy Meals now (thanks for the caloric bits!)
So last night, during dinner my wife mentioned that there was chocolate ice cream and cookies for dessert. My eldest son (he'll be 5 before year end) wanted the ice cream, but didn't want to eat his meatball sandwich. We advised him that the dessert was conditional, and he replied, "No. You give me the ice cream and I don't eat my meatballs."
Then, the most remarkable thing happened. We told him "No" and advised him that his scenario was a non-starter for us. So, after that, he ….. wait for it ..
… wait for it….
…
ATE HIS MEATBALL SANDWICH without further complaint.
Ahhh, the art of negotiation.
Good Story.. you have to check Adult Toy Store..
Heres an idea, force them to give out a toy with a salad, then watch those salids fly out the door……….NOT!
"No" What a concept. Such an easy word to say, I just wish I wasn't the only parent on the block to say it…but then again I'm the world's meanest mommy, at least according to my kids, and I believe fast food is a once a month treat and not a part of the daily meal experience.
That 'supervisor' should have to take parenting and nutrition classes. If you can't say 'No' to your child, then you shouldn't be allowed to have them.