I got up this morning to move my car (you can’t park on the even side of the street from 7 am until 9 am on Tuesday because of steet cleaning. apparently they never clean the other side of the street) and I realized something: Today is December 14. I have to have my application for the Maryland attorney exam in by December 27th! What have I been doing? I had over a month of completly free time to do this and I did exactly what I hoped I wouldn’t do. I did nothing. Absolutely nothing. I haven’t taken a class or met new people. I’ve gotten drunk at some bars and traded boots with a police officer. (don’t ask. even if you do, I won’t have an answer for you)

So then I started to think, maybe I’ll just wait until July to take the exam. Maybe I can work at Borders (crap, no I can’t) or at Ann Taylor until then. Ann Taylor has good discounts and by the time I’m ready to practice law again I’ll have a kickass wardrobe for court. But folks, seriously, I am having a real crisis here in Maryland. Everything I thought I was or could be or should be has been altered by this time off from practicing law. I feel like I can do anything, but am qualified to do nothing but practice law. And, not just any kind of law either. Only one kind. The criminal kind.

When I tell people that I don’t know if I can continue practicing criminal law, what with the stress and the, well, stress, they think they are doing me a favor by mentioning all the other kinds of law out there I could practice. How about business law! How about real estate! How about wills! Immigration! Wow! There are other types of law in the world? I had no idea! GOD THANK YOU! I’m cured!

But, I digress. The point is that I don’t know the first thing about business law, or real estate, and the one will I did I totally f-ed up and had to beg the surrogate for help. I would have to begin at the beginning, and I think I’m pretty set in my ways to start all over again. So, I guess I’ve got myself boxed in. On my own accord. I mean, I could do other stuff, but I won’t.

So, there. I’ve settled it. Its either Ann Taylor or criminal law.

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