I truly am schizophrenic. I think something seems like a good idea – nay, a great idea. The best idea anyone could ever have in the entire world. Then ten minutes later, I’ve decided its the exact opposite of a good idea and I’m wondering how on earth I could ever have thought that the idea was anything other than truly atrocious.

So, I took this job and then I got the official offer letter in the mail. It’s all very official, even though the firm has all of three lawyers. Hey, good for them. Then, it says under “work hours” that there are no set work hours, but employees are expected to come to work no later than 9:00 am and leave no earlier than 5:30 pm. Hmmm. . . okay, but confusing as to the no set work hours thing. I think what they meant is this is the miniumum we expect from you, but you must work longer and later. Okay, no problem. The most important thing that was missing, though, was the fee apportionment. I looked and didn’t see it and then called to ask, hey, if I bring in business, what’s my take?

The answer: Nothing.

I understand that with a big firm that can afford to pay its attorneys in the six figures and so there is no split; but if you are paying someone with seven years of experience in the mid range of five figures, how do you justify keeping 100% of all work brought in? The answer: Bonuses. At their discretion, of course.

I don’t know why I assumed it would be any other way. Maybe I am naive or just expected it to be the way it was in New York. Well, now I know better. They weren’t truly interested in having me continue to do my criminal defense work. In fact, they viewed that as a nice side thing if I had the time for it. And honestly, that is not acceptable to me.

I have to face facts, I am a criminal attorney. I try and try to escape it, but there is no where to hide from it.

So, I’m back at the drawing board. I am proud of myself, though, for not giving in and settling because it would have been easy to do that, to just take it and not complain. But, I’ve already given up a lot to come here to Baltimore. I don’t want to keep giving stuff up just because.

That should be my motto: don’t give stuff up just because.

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