I haven’t eaten anything since last Wednesday, when I had a lovely meal of chicken and broccoli casserole, salad with homemade bleu cheese dressing and dinner rolls in the great dining room at Fort Hef in upstate New York. I ended up spending the next five days in darling Hef’s spare bedroom, dining on saltines and cans of chicken soup he ran to the store to fetch for me.
I was trapped in upstate new york. Truth be told, if I had to pick a house to be trapped in, it would be Hef’s. For one thing, it’s old (its actually a national historic site), its got comfy chairs, lot of books and neat things to look at, and he has a ton of old victrolas that play 78s. I mean victrolas! Like the kind you wind up. Talk about surreal. Try being sick, with a 103 degree fever and listening to the woman who played Betty Boop singing through an old victrola. It was seriously the stuff of fever induced hazes.
But I’m back home now, trying to recover and still feeling poorly. I haven’t had an appetite and I’m feeling pretty weak from the lack of nourishment. I wonder how the anorexics manage it. Every time I feel woozy, I just think of Mary Kate, or is it Ashely and I try to endure. I see Mary Kate/Ahsley’s smiling, bony face and think, how on earth did she manage to stand upright? I’ve lost five pounds in five days and trust me, I could stand to lose more, and I feel like I’m going to fall down. It must take practice.
I’ll write more about my travels and what the future has in store for me when I’m better.
By the way, the worst book ever written EVER by any human being on earth is Lightning by Dean Koonz. It is so bad I can’t even believe it. It is atrocious. And, one of the worst movies ever made is Last Man Standing with Bruce Willis. But Lightening is even worse. God. It’s bad.
