So I’ve been living here in this great mid-atlantic state for over three months and really, not much has happened. I go out on occasion and I go to HM’s house every once in a while, but otherwise my social life is not very engaging. I figured this month, I would have loads of time to study for the attorney bar exam that is coming up on the 22nd of this month. (yes, that is in less than three weeks) How was I to know that the test would be so f—-ing hard? Or that I would have to know the difference between impleader, interpleader and intervenor? Even worse, I would have to know the difference and then refer to the rule which is controlling. It all seems so unfair. I’ve been a practicing lawyer for 7 years, you would think that if I haven’t had any serious disciplinary complaints or issues than I probably have gotten very good at looking stuff up in books. That is what the attorney exam tests: Do you know how to look this stuff up in a book.

Example question:

Assume that John and Jeff hire Marcellus to represent Twin Peaks, Inc. against Maria, Slihm and Shaddie Dealings, Inc. Marcellus decides to file two separate actions—one against Maria for breach of the contract’s restrictive covenant and the other against Slihm and Shaddie Dealings, Inc. He intends to file an amended complaint for $1.2 million in the Slihm/Shaddie suit and adds claims for false light and intentional interference with business advantage. Finally, Marcellus intends to file a motion for a temporary restraining order to prevent Shaddie Dealings from continuing to distribute the pamphlets while the case is being decided.

What must Marcellus do procedurally to assure that his client’s motion for a temporary restraining order is heard by the court? Explain your answer fully.

My answer:

I think that Marcellus should refer this case to someone who knows what the fuck they are doing. Otherwise, he should insure that his malpractice insurance premiums are paid and then he should disconnect his phone, clean out his office, and move to Belgium.

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