Today did not turn out as expected. I went to court at 8:00 for a plea, then went to county court at 10:30 for a sentencing. The sentencing did not happen until almost noon, and then I got a call from my office saying Judge H requested the pleasure of my company at 1:00. Crap. Why? Who knows, I certainly did not. So at 12:25 I scurried downstairs and asked the beotch secretary who says to me the following: “Judge H wants to see you on Paul L. You got caught. You kept adjourning his sentencing and now he’s in federal custody.” I looked at her and said “excuse me???” Caught? Doing what? So I went into the courtroom and fumed for a bit. Now, mind you, I’d like to be a more clever attorney. I wish I had it in me to be conniving (within the boundaries of the law, of course) or obstructionist or manipulative or what have you, but I’m not. I’m just not. I’m almost hyperethical and sometimes I think its almost a flaw. So, not in a million years would I ever be smart enough to request an adjournment of sentencing knowing that the feds are going to pick my client up and take him to Kentucky, thus preventing our local county judge from sentencing him to 5-15 years in state prison. So, finally I went back to chambers and the judge gives me this long hard stare and I looked at him and just said “Judge, what is up??” I then continued to tell him my side of the story, and asked him why he would ever think I would do something like that, ask for an adjournment knowing my client was going to the feds and try to obstruct the judge from moving forward on the case. He looked at me and said “It’s okay M, you are forgiven and I believe you.” To which I responded “I’m forgiven?? I didn’t do anything! Judge, YOU are forgiven.” Finally he said okay, you aren’t forgiven and this never happened. I think that was an apology, but seriously, like I was going to start being a clever person now, three days before I leave this county.
The reality is that if I had done it, there is nothing illegal about it. My client Paul had asked me to get an adjournment in his state case because he had a federal case going on. If he gets sentenced to 5-15 years on his state case, his criminal history category goes up 11 points, according to the sentencing guidelines. This puts him at an even higher guideline range than if he is sentenced in state court after he is sentenced in federal court. If I was clever, I would have arranged it so the marshalls would come to pick him up and take him to KY and get his fed case disposed of first. But really, I’m not that smart. I asked the judge for a six month adjournment to take care of his federal case. The judge said no, you get two weeks to figure out what’s going on, and I said okay. Two days later I found out from probation that he was gone. I had no idea. I don’t even think he had any idea he was going.
So, this made me mad because (1) I realized I’m not smart enough to think of clever stuff like that and (2) I was accused of doing something I’m not even smart enough to do.
